Kristen Grossman Prose

Child number three will graduate from high school tomorrow. The day will look very different from the day we anticipated just a few short months ago. However, we plan to make a day of it, ordering takeout for lunch, grilling for dinner, and then settling in to watch her graduation ceremony online. We have scheduled a virtual graduation party for Saturday on Zoom. Next week, we will decorate our car and take a memory drive through the high school campus, capped with our graduate entering the school auditorium to cross the stage and receive her diploma. A professional photographer will capture the moment. Not what we had expected, yet beautiful in its own way.

Our daughter’s graduation present was to be a trip to Italy with her high school choir. They were scheduled to fly to Europe this Sunday, where they anticipated singing their way through Tuscany, Florence, and Rome. The itinerary included singing at Sunday mass at St. Peter’s Basilica and an after-hours visit to the Vatican Museums and Sistine Chapel. I can’t imagine a graduation gift we can give her that would replace these dashed plans.

Yet, we have each other. We have the joy of celebrating our sweet child as she begins the next phase of her life. We have the well-wishes and love of friends and family, who celebrate with us from afar.

As with any other life transition, graduations are accompanied by conflicting emotions. There are joy and anticipation for the future, as well as the tug of sentimentality for the past. We rejoice to see our young adults making their way into the world even as we mourn the sweet baby kisses and delightful belly laughs of childhood. We are excited to see their lives unfold, even as we miss the reassurance of having them tucked safely in our homes each night.

Furthermore, we pause at sending them into the confusion and chaos of the world around us. We prepare our children to the best of our ability and encourage them toward an intimate relationship with their Heavenly Father. Then, we entrust them to His care as we cheer them on in this new season of their lives. We know that the world is not always a safe or welcoming place.

Our friends of color certainly experience the fear, abuse, and injustice of living in a fallen and dangerous world. My heart grieves for those who cannot feel safe jogging, shopping, or driving down the highway. I feel anger that we cannot rely on people entrusted with carrying out the law to behave justly, responsibly, and compassionately. I ache for the mamas who send their sons out into the world knowing the dangers that lurk for men of color.

My little sister and her colleagues, healthcare providers at a Minneapolis hospital, were afraid to leave their building to go home last night. This morning she sent pictures taken from the hospital window of a glowing red sky as the city was looted and burned in response to the death of George Floyd. Violence protested with violence–a brutal cycle of pain, anger, and retaliation.

Lysa Terkeurst, in her book Trustworthy, reminds me that, “God is not the author of confusion and disorder, yet He is active in the midst of confusion to bring about His eventual fully controlled order.” I cannot see how order can come from the chaos of prejudice, disease, discord, or violence. However, I have faith that God can work even in these circumstances for something good; in some way I may never see or conceive.

So, I pray for peace. I pray for reconciliation. I pray for respect and unity. I pray for our children, who are graduating this month and preparing to take their places in our world. May they work to make it a safer place for all.

Dear Lord, I thank you that You can bring peace and order in even the most chaotic seasons. I ask you to bring us Your peace today. Amen.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27