Kristen Grossman Prose

You would think a worldwide pandemic would be enough to keep a person from comparing herself to others. In a time of social distancing, technology and the internet are wonderful tools that help us stay connected. Yet, in times of crisis, just as in more conventional times, the technology that brings us together may also cause us to glimpse into others’ lives and come away feeling we are lacking.

I have enjoyed the feeling of connection I have found on social media during sheltering at home. I have laughed with Trey Kennedy, cried with Brad Paisley, and been entertained by Andrew Lloyd Weber. I have appreciated the words of encouragement shared by friends and strangers, been touched by the voices of seniors singing together from balconies, and been inspired by reports of acts of kindness.

However, I’m afraid I have also allowed self-doubt to creep in as I view how others are handling their enforced time at home. I scroll through posts of mothers, sheltering at home, who have made color-coordinated schedules for their children’s schooling while simultaneously running businesses and grinding wheat for homemade bread. I have left my computer feeling “less than” as I read of empty nesters singlehandedly renovating their kitchens, sewing up a batch of face masks, and delivering groceries to elderly shut-ins.

I exaggerate. Yet, somehow, when I survey my dining table covered in clean laundry, the dust bunnies under the couch, and Pop-Tarts crumbs on the kitchen counter, I feel that I am not enough. I am not doing enough. Even in a time of crisis and focusing on the things that truly matter, I am comparing my reality with shiny, polished moments of other people’s lives.

How quickly I forget that in times of crisis and uncertainty, just as in routine times, the place to look for our self-worth is not social media or in comparison to others. It is in Christ.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.” 1 John 3:1-3

I may feel less than, but God sees me as his beloved child. I see the chores left undone, but my Heavenly Father hears the prayers I have prayed, sees the comfort I have tried to provide my family, and knows my very heart. If you, like me, have moments when you feel that even in isolation, you are “not enough,” I encourage you to remember to Whom you belong. You are doing your part. You are praying; you are breathing; you are living; you are loved.

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” Colossians 3:1-4

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you that our identity is not found in how much we accomplish, but in Whose child we are. May we use our time wisely, and may we also rejoice in being the unique creations You have designed each of us to be. Amen.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

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